April Showers
by InsanityInsanity
Summary: April Heller has just transferred to Hogwarts, little does she know that she'll meet someone she hasn't seen for six years, someone she was hoping to see during her return to England. Can she survive the Marauders? Will she be able to cope with the full moons when she is so close to home?
1. Reunions

I looked around the station waiting to see anyone I knew. I was about to start Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, late. I had moved from Beauxbaton, my parents didn't want to live in France anymore and so had back to England. I was already in my school robes since my parent apperated us here. I thought I had caught a glimpse of someone I hadn't seen since moving to France. I quickly hugged my parent's goodbye before going the direction I thought I had seen him. When I reached there I couldn't find him... I must have imagined it. We had only talked through letters I didn't know what he looked like anymore.

I boarded the train looking for somewhere to sit but all the compartments seemed to be full. I was about to get annoyed and sit on the floor in a compartment, when I opened the door and was met with his golden eyes, the eyes of the boy I thought I wouldn't see again. I stepped backwards confused, shaking my head, I could feel the tears in my eyes. I had to have made a mistake.

"Are you ok?" His voice filled my ears as I looked down. It can't be him, I must be mistaken. I couldn't meet the strangers eyes as I replied, it would only make things worse.

"I'm fine, it's just you look like someone I haven't seen in six years"

"Moony, she's upset. Bring her in and sit her down. I bet the train is nearly full anyway" I felt his warm hands press against my arm, leading me into the compartment. I sat down, still refusing to meet any of their eyes. "What's your name, love?"

"April Heller"

"Did you just say April Heller" I nodded slowly. I knew who had asked, his voice was etched into my brain. "As in April Showers"

My head snapped up to look at him, eyes wide. How could he...? My sea blue eyes met his golden ones, willing it to be true. "How could you know that name? Unless..." I studied his face carefully, there are more scars then before, I reached out and brushed my fingers against one that I knew had been there before, the small one on his left cheek bone. "I'm so sorry Wolf" tears came to my eyes as I was pulled into a hug. I giggled when I realised that he still smelt of chocolate with an earthy smell underneath. He could never resist chocolate, I pulled away realising we were being stared at. I smiled, "Wolfy these wouldn't happen to be the Marauders, that you can't stop talking about in our letters would it?" I saw the rest of their eyes light up but Remus frowned.

"Yes they are, what are you planning?" I tried my best to look offended as I pulled my black hair into a pony tail, I knew he wouldn't fall for it but it was worth a try.

"I'm guessing..." I paused as I pointed to the boy with stormy eyes, "Sirius Black," I turned my point to the boy with glasses and annoyingly messed up hair, "James Potter," I patted the last one, who was sitting next to me, a mousy boy, "Peter Pettigrew"

"Correct on each" Sirius stated surprised but still attempting to be charming. They all looked at Remus then back to me. I shifted myself so I was resting my head on his lap looking up at him, my legs bent so that I wasn't on Peter as well.

"So how do you know each other?" James asked. I sighed turning to James.

"Before I tell you that story, Wolfy have you told them about your condition?" He nodded. I sighed, "Good, I don't think I could deal with them not knowing the truth when they mean so much to you..."

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't call me Wolfy anymore? And you don't have to tell them everything if you don't want to" I smiled at the first part meeting his gaze. However the second part made me sit up and pull my hair out so it covered my face, "you still have the nightmares don't you? Don't think of lying you did the hair thing" I sighed and nodded slowly. The others shared a worried look. I decided to ignore Remus' comment. "You're probably wondering why Remus it touchy about people being around his..." I couldn't think of a phrase that doesn't just blurt his secret out to anyone who might be listening.

"Fury little problem?" I laughed when Peter said that. It was obvious that's what they called his condition.

"That sounds like he has a misbehaving rabbit" I looked at Remus, who smiled at me, he knew what was coming "like Tiddles, my rabbit, she used to bite everyone. Anyway yes, he's so wary about it because of me. When we were younger, we used to sneak out to continue playing together, we lived next door to each other, our parents knew but didn't say anything. Well anyway, one night, a full moon, a few weeks after our fathers, mostly mine, had said something to Grayback. A werewolf attacked us, it was after me because of my father's prejudice views about them. Remus saved me, we were only about 4 maybe 5 but he was so brave even then. The werewolf bit Remus then tossed him to the side unconscious before coming after me again..." I started to tear up, I wouldn't let myself cry in front of the Marauders. Well, maybe Wolfy later but not now.

"April, then saved herself and me by causing a shower of fire around us. I was still conscious enough to see it, it was beautiful considering. She always loved causing showers of things, flowers, water, leaves, but it was the first time she had done fire."

"And the last. I refused to cast magical showers after that unless Wolfy made me. I had nightmares of the night and how I had caused Remus his pain every full moon. If I hadn't have asked him to play outside and unlocked our windows, it wouldn't have happened" I could feel all the boys look at me, I felt even worse it was my fault that Remus would never feel close to them, my fault that Remus was so stubborn and protective of his secret.

There was a knock at the door, a girl with hair like fire and emerald green eyes walked in, panicked by something. I squished closer to Remus hoping she wouldn't notice me.


	2. Hexes and Lily

"Have you boys seen new student in our year? I can't find her and Professor Dumbledore asked me to take her to his office" She cried, clearly not seeing me.

"Lily-flower how nice of you to come to see us. Yes we have seen the lovely April, she's right here. Although she's nothing compared to you" James declared. I whispered a boil hex in his direction with my wand, knowing only Remus would hear. Lily, Remus and I started laughing as he became covered in swelling boils. Sirius looked between me and James. I smirked.

"Did you want to say something Black?" I challenged.

"Only that I think every woman on the planet cannot compare to your beauty." I raised an eyebrow and sent a colour changing spell onto his hair which turned bright pink. Remus looked furious at Sirius' declaration until he saw what I had done.

"I don't like suck ups" I said innocently as Lily stared at me. I smiled at her mischievously before I reversed the hexes... well James', I made Sirius' hair change colour every hour for the next 24 hours. "Well, Wolfy it seems that I have been summoned to all things Dumbledore" I winked at Remus, who was laughing at me.

"Actually, Lily if you don't mind, I would like to escort April to Professor Dumbledore" _uhh ohh_, he had a serious tone to his voice... this can be good. I looked at Lily almost pleading. I went to stand up but Remus and Sirius grabbed my wrists. My eyes widened... this was a planned ambush.

"Remus, you would be a life saver. I have so much to do, especially with the first years." Lily looked relieved at not taking me. Remus just looked smug; _oh I'm so getting him back for this_. Lily quickly left, leaving me alone with the Murderers as I will now call them. I was shoved back onto the seat Peter having moved so there was more room, Remus casting a binding spell to keep me in place.

"I would have stayed if you asked nicely Wolfy" I batted my eye lashes, pulling a puppy dog look. Remus didn't fall for it but Peter and Sirius did. They went off to whisper with James while Remus stared at me. "Wolfy, please, I promise to sit right here and not move until you say so"

The others came back over after their little battle, whispering into Remus' ear, who shook his head. His golden eyes still locked on mine.

"Not good enough guys, she won't care about that. If I remember correctly, which I do Shower, then April here has several weaknesses that would never change" he started smiling that cruel mischievous smile I hadn't seen in six years. I raised an eyebrow smirking to myself.

"I'll just get revenge Remus, you know that don't you? And I won't go easy on any of you... what did they want anyway?" The look in his eyes showed he was worried but by which I wasn't sure. I trust him though, so it couldn't be that bad surely, although the look in his eyes said differently.

"Shower, I'm sorry, I really am, but they want you to cause a shower... they don't care what one as long as you show them... Shower?" He sounded concerned but I looked out of the window.

"Unbind me please" they quickly unbound me and sat round the compartment only with me and Remus sat together on our own. I rested my head on his shoulder, eyes drooping, I hadn't slept properly in a while. "I've missed you Wolf Boy" I smiled whispering in his ear.

"I missed you too April Shower, now get some sleep" I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. The last thought in my head before I fell asleep was that I had my Remus back.


	3. Revenge

Remus POV

While April slept the rest of the boys looked at me for an explanation. I looked at her sleeping face and smiled softly. She always looked peaceful sleeping especially before the incident. She claims it was her fault, the guilt leads to nightmares. I could tell that the nightmares had been worse or more frequent even with the make-up she wore. I gently moved her to lie on my lap, stroking her hair like I did when we were children, so that she didn't have nightmares.

"Moony?" James's voice sounded concerned. I looked away from April's face.

"Yeah, Prongs. What's wrong?"

"Why did she shut up like that?" Peter squeaked. Sirius looked at April, then up at me. I could feel their eyes on me. I smiled sadly at them.

"She doesn't like being reminded of what happened and how guilty she feels. It's the cause of her nightmares, it's also why her family moved to France six years ago."

"There's more to the story that you aren't going to tell us isn't there?" Sirius was always quick to catch onto things like that.

"Yeah Padfoot there is. Even if I wanted to I couldn't tell you," I sighed to myself, "She would curse me in my sleep if she found out I told you." They're eyes widened probably because of how helpless I seemed, I had promised her all those years ago that I wouldn't talk about it to anyone.

"Anyway, what about a start of year prank? To celebrate your reunion and to welcome everyone back to Hogwarts" James suggested it as if we had weeks to plan it, knowing them though we only had a few days and it would be me planning it. I considered waking April up for this, she could never resist a prank, or to make an entrance.

"I'm not sure Prongs, I don't think we can get everything sorted in time. Maybe in a few days but not yet" We all looked at Sirius shocked. Not once had he refused the idea to prank. "Besides I have a few ladies to catch up on" he winked at us while smirking. Now he sounded like himself.

"Man whore" April stretched before sitting up, I wasn't sure how much she had heard but the twinkle in her eye told me she heard the word prank. She pulled her hair back again, that combined with the twinkle told me she was planning something already.

"I protest to that Miss Heller, all the girls that I have wooed have never protested in anyway" Sirius smirked as he said. They never protested because they were already all over him, just as he had said hello to them. I shook my head. Peter and James just looked on.

"Despite the fact that it's obvious that most girls in this school probably flock to be 'wooed' by you, I hardly call a shag in the broom closet a romantic occurrence" April was clearly going easy on him, I smiled to myself as I watched her pretending to look at her nails, she had become a lot more confident over the past few years. I could tell that when I read her letters to me as well.

"April how wrong you are. Broom closets are to cliché, that's why I use the Room of Requirements or our dorm room," he glared at me, "Surely Moony told you that."

"He did however I decided not to bring that up. Mostly because that would ruin my plans" her devilish grin came back. I leaned closely towards her ear. This was my time for revenge on the boys, mostly Sirius, for all of their teasing especially when they called my condition my 'time of the month,' "Don't go easy on them. I'll help you if you need it" her grin grew although she shook her head quickly whispering back, "I've figured them out already, I just needed your permission" I smiled pulling back.

"What were you to whispering about?" James couldn't handle being left out of the loop. I looked towards April, she seemed like he fell for her trap.

"Wolfy was telling me not to hold back my feelings for Padfoot. Only Remus would guess them so quickly, I never could keep anything from him" she looked down, a blush crept onto her face. She really did still have the touch of an actress, a good one at that. The boys looked shocked, I shrugged and pulled her closer.

"Don't worry Showers, he didn't realise. He didn't mean to brag about his encounters with women" she let out a fake sob, and then quickly recovered. She looked over at Sirius then back at me.

"And now that he does know, if he wants me, he can come after me right?" I nodded, knowing Sirius would hesitate before taking the bait. The train stopped just as she stood to leave. "I'll meet you outside okay?" I nodded, smiling to myself as I saw the quick smirk on her face as she left.

Sirius waited until he felt she was out of ear shot, not knowing she was probably still outside the door, "Was she serious or just playing me? Cause mate, she's hot, don't get me wrong I won't go after her if you don't want me to, but still, if she's serious..." he paused waiting for my answer.

"She was more than serious Pads, but if you hurt her like you have every other girl. You'll be in trouble, and not just from me. Don't think she'll be easy to get now that she admitted her feelings in front of you, that's just going to make it harder"

"How did she know our nicknames anyway?" James was the first one to notice. I smiled, shrugging as if it was obvious.

"I told her" before anyone could protest I got up and left, she was standing outside the door like I thought, we quickly high-fived as we walked off of the train.


	4. A Little Fun

April POV

Me and Remus Sat on a carriage waiting for the rest of the Murderers. There was a bit of a problem when they arrived not all of us could fit, I offered to leave but Peter volunteered to leave, causing the others to agree with him. Leaving Remus, Sirius, James and I all in one carriage, pulled by Thristles, they were beautiful creatures, although only me and Remus could see them, they didn't seem to like Remus. The seating order seemed to reflect my plan, Sirius was sitting next to me, Remus across from me and James next to Remus. Remus and I smiled to each other, they had obviously planned this.

"Aren't you afraid that if you keep calling Moony, Wolfy, his secret will be exposed?" I considered James' question.

"Aren't you with Moony? In fact Moony seems more obvious than Wolfy especially since it goes back to our childhood" James and Sirius seemed surprised by this, obviously they never considered it. "Besides Wolfy is short for Wolf Boy, Remus always loved watching the wolves run in the forest with me. We found a group of white furred cubs which we visited everyday. I used to be nicknamed Wolf Girl before I started showering, there were two cubs that were always together, one with blue eyes, the other with brown. Our parents said they were like us, giving us our nicknames" I felt sad at the memory those cubs had died the day ofthe incident which was why we were out on the full moon, they had grown up but they were still our cubs. I felt Remus nudge me, I smiled at him, he remembered too. "Anyway where's Dumbledore's office? And why would he want to see me?"

The boys looked at each other. They knew something, something they wanted to leave me out on. It was Sirius who replied, "We'll let you know when we get there love"

"Okay darling, but be sure to tell me everything though okay? I don't think relationships should start off with secrets" I winked at him. Smiling to myself, I realised that I had to work on my plan for James next. I studied him out of the corner of my eye then looked at Remus. He was watching me, I shrugged. He understood what I meant and nodded to me.

"So we're in a relationship now love?" I smirked, turning my head back to Sirius.

"Oh honey, we are nowhere near close to any form of relationship. Just because I told you my feelings doesn't mean I'm going to jump in bed with you, you need to earn that."

"April, go easy on the boy, that's the only way he can get women" Remus warned, I laughed as Sirius looked hurt, obviously faking it. James just watched on, studying me and Remus.

"But Remus, I only wanted a little fun" I dulled. Sirius looked at me almost triumphantly. Remus shook his head.

"I remember the letter you sent me about last time you were having 'a little fun'" Sirius and James' eyes widened at with curiosity.

"Oh Remmy, I didn't mean to hurt him so much, he just wasn't my type. I had to jinx him, he bad mouthed half-bloods and half breeds, I couldn't let anyone, not even my boyfriend do that."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. I could quote the letter if you want"

"Remus, as much fun as that would be, I don't want dear Padfoot and Prongs to know that, they are much to innocent to hear about that" the two boys mentioned looked at each other and at me. Obviously not realising that we were only half messing with them, I had done things I'm ashamed of but nothing that they hadn't done.

"So Remmy, are you as protective of this lot as you are me?"

"Yes!" The two boys cried. Remus however shook his head, which caused them to look at me. I could feel my eye colour darken, which they only did when I was extremely pissed.

"Why the hell not? So you're telling me they go every full moon but I'm allowed to, not once! How the hell is that fair?"

"They protect themselves and each other. You however refuse to cast the one thing that works completely to repel werewolves" Remus remained calm, which only made me madder.

"I can still protect myself Remus John Lupin. You know that, you've seen that. What do I need to do to prove it to you? Just because they turn into animals for you, doesn't mean they can protect themselves." I leaned closer to him, cupping his face in my hands, calmer now then I was. "Don't blame yourself for last time you hurt me, you didn't know it was me, you couldn't help it"

"April, please I've said no and I'll keep saying no... I told them no, you know that, you convinced me to let them that first night, besides you've got other things going on every full moon anyway" I sat back into my seat. He did have a point, I was busy every full moon, but that didn't make it any less horrible. The two boys stared, mouths open, clearly only just realising I was the only one, who could change Wolfys mind.


	5. Sweetness and Gargoyles

_**A.N: Thanks to I'm A Witch So Deal With It, .1884, twilightlover4life13, and xxxMadamMysteryxxx for their favourites and follows it means a lot to me. I honestly thought no one was reading this for a while. I'm also sorry that it has taken me so long to update chapters, I have had to rewrite them all… thanks for your patience.**_

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We reached Hogwarts in silence, mostly because I was still in a bad mood with Remus. As soon as we stopped I got out of the carriage and started making my way up to the castle. I didn't wait for the boys, if they wanted to escort me so badly they could catch up.

"April, wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad at me. Please, just slow down, you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to." Remus's voice wasn't very far behind me I know he could catch up if he wanted to. He was just staying behind so that I could have some space while I was mad.

"You're just worried I won't share my chocolate with you when we get our stuff back!" I yelled behind me, I could hear him chuckle as he caught up.

"You still carry chocolate around with you? I bet there's some in your pockets too." I reached for my pockets playfully, I slapped his hand away.

"You never know when you might need it, it cures dementor kisses you know? Besides like you still don't have secretly hidden supplies." I could hear him muttering about having any excuse; I decided to ignore him though.

"It's not a secret and definitely not hidden, we know every place where he can store it." James called from behind us. I laughed as Remus seemed shocked by the news that they admitted. I pulled a bar of chocolate from my pocket and gave it to him, almost instantly regretting it. It was my last emergency bar;_ I really will have to restock them._ Remus smiled at the gesture.

"I couldn't possibly take it from you."

"It's fine Wolfy, the boys can owe me it back, it'll be taken out of the chocolate they've probably stolen off of you." James and Sirius complained as they caught up, because they didn't get chocolate and something about fuelling two chocolate addictions. I looked to Remus; as soon as our eyes met we burst out into uncontrollable laughter. We could feel the other two staring at us.

"Are you two alright?" Sirius asked cautiously.

"Chocolate… Addi…ctions" I wasn't sure if they made out what I said considering I was laughing too hard to speak. I couldn't help it.

"Yeah… What about it?" James seemed just as cautious, well at least he made out what I said. I tried to calm down but couldn't; luckily Remus did.

"That's what our parents used to complain about; fuelling our chocolate addictions. Although mine came from Showers, she always used to carry some around with her."

"Hey! Don't blame me! You didn't have to eat all of my chocolate!" I quickly recovered from laughing at his accusation. As we entered the castle we continued arguing over whose fault Remus's chocolate addiction was. We finally reached the gargoyle as we agreed that Remus may have had the beginning of an addiction before but I didn't help by supplying the chocolate.

"Password," I jumped as I realised that it was the gargoyle that spoke. James and Sirius smirked, which I kindly rewarded with slaps upside the head. They then realised that none of us knew that password.

"It has to be a sweet, it's always a sweet." James declared looking at Sirius. Remus sighed as I rolled my eyes, we didn't have time to go through all the wizarding worlds sweets let alone the muggle ones. I shrugged as I turned back to the gargoyle, leaving Sirius and James arguing over the best sweet related password.

"I am extremely sorry but we don't have the password, these boys offered to escort me to Professor Dumbledore's office but we forgot to get the password. You see I'm a new student here and I got the message on the train to come and find him," I smiled sweetly, batting my eyelashes slightly, "I don't mean to be of any trouble but could you let us through please it would be a big help."

Silence followed. Just the way I wanted it. I turned to see James and Sirius stare at me, mouths open. Remus looked just as shocked as the other two although without looking as ridiculous. I smiled sweetly at him then turned back to the gargoyle. He nodded his head, "Dumbledore mentioned a new student coming by, however he didn't say how sweet she was." The gargoyle spun leaving a staircase where it had been.

"Oh, thank you." I began climbing the staircase but stopped when I realised that the boys weren't following, "Well are you coming or not?"

I saw Remus shake his head as he tried to hide his chuckle before I continued to climb the stairs. I heard footsteps behind me and smiled to myself. We reached the door to the office, I was too nervous to knock. Remus knocked for me while I mouthed a thank you. "Come in" the door opened to reveal Professor Albus Dumbledore. I sidestepped behind Remus; we were now standing in front of one of the world's most powerful wizards. Suddenly I was extremely nervous as to why he wanted to see me.


	6. Hats and Secret Crushes

_Thank you LunaNotLoony for your review, I love that you think she's a great character it means a lot to me :)_

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"Miss Heller, it's nice to meet you. The sorting hat cannot wait to meet you, if you would like to come in so that you can take a seat." I looked to Remus, a hat; I was called here for a hat that wanted to meet me. I shrugged and sat on the stool waiting for me in the middle of the room. "Boys you can come in and wait if you wish although we will need to hurry to the Great Hall after."

I watched as the boys walked in. I closed my eyes, I could hear Dumbledore coming closer to me. The rim of the hat touched my head, I felt a hand touch mine. I opened my eyes and saw Remus had taken my hand, I smiled thanking him.

"Well, it's nice to meet you miss Heller" I felt myself tense at the voice in my ears. Remus chuckled, obviously I had done what he expected. "I'm only here to put you in a house. Smart, ambitious, loyal, bold, daring. Well I can't possibly separate you from the one you have feelings for." My cheeks felt like they were on fire. No one was supposed to know about that. "Don't worry I won't tell anyone, I have no-one but Dumbledore to tell, anyway I'll put you in Gryffindor" the hat shouted the last part of the statement. I let out a breath, I didn't realise I had been keeping. I looked over to Remus, I then noticed he was smiling down at me, that type of smile that you couldn't help but return.

"Well we all best be getting to the Great Hall, I'm sure you boys will give Miss Heller a grand tour after we have eaten." Dumbledore started making his way to the door, leading us down to the Great Hall. "April dear, you wouldn't mind carry the sorting hat down with you, would you? I'm sure he has many a question to ask of someone with your abilities" I blushed, slowly taking the hat off of my head, "Of course not Professor, it would be an honour to talk to someone who has looked into so many great minds."

"The honour is all mine Miss Heller, someone with such extraordinary talents and a remarkable background." The hat stated as if itwas an everyday fact. I looked to Remus, who still had my hand as we walked slowly to the Great Hall, Sirius and James in front of us with Dumbledore. "Two curses given at the same time, although two different types remarkable. Now Miss Heller..."

"Oh, please call me April, you know too much about me for such formalities" Remus chuckled beside me.

"Well then, April, you have such a fascinating brain, and I would say you would be worthy of a Ravenclaw..."

"Wait if she should be in Ravenclaw, why isn't she?" Remus caught on to what the sorting hat meant. I felt myself blush slightly, would the sorting hat say what I've been trying to hide from him.

"There were other factors at play towards her sorting, that and how could I separate you both after such a reunion" I smiled up at Remus, hoping he wouldn't notice the blush, that's probably too much to ask for.


	7. Tears for Breakfast

The full moon was only a few days after the sorting. I had quickly grown accustomed to the way Hogwarts worked. I looked down at my timetable before going to breakfast, double potions first, I smiled to myself. Potions was my favourite class and the one I was doing best in. I packed my school bag with everything I needed; quills, ink, scrolls and textbooks. I ran down the stairs to the common room realising I was late to meeting the boys.

"Guys I'm so sorry, I over slept again." I got to the bottom of the stairs to find them all sitting in what seemed to be their favourite spot, the chairs beside the fireplace. Remus was the first to look up. His skin was paler than usual, there was dark circles under his eyes. It was obvious the full moon was tonight, he refused to admit that he was in pain though and instead smiled up at me.

He saw my worried glance and shook his head at me, giving me a look telling me to forget it. I reluctantly sighed in agreement and sat on his lap carefully.

"Really Showers? We'll be late for breakfast, get off of Moony." James complained at me like he has been doing every morning that I woke up late. I got up and extended my hand to help Remus up; it was only with a sharp look that he let me.

"What are we waiting for?" I turned to the others, who were all still sitting.

"We were waiting for you. Moony wouldn't let us leave without you" Sirius replied standing, James and Peter following his lead. I didn't release my grip on Remus's hand as I went over to the portrait hole.

"I'm down, so what are you waiting for?" I opened the door, waiting for them to come out of the common room. I said a quick good morning to Roxanne, otherwise known as the fat lady, before we went down into the Great Hall. I looked over at the boys who were all so quiet. "Okay, what's going on? You're all so... quiet. I mean I get Wolfy but why the rest of you?"

They looked at each other than at me, as if considering if I was trust worthy enough to know. I sighed it was obvious they weren't going to tell me just yet. I clutched my small star shaped charm on my necklace, I had charmed it so that it would protect and conceal how I look from not sleeping, I hadn't worn it on my first day which is how Remus knew I hadn't slept. I stopped suddenly having an idea. The boys stopped looking curiously at me; I unhooked it as I walked over to Remus. He gave me a confused look after I put it on him then covering it with his shirt. I smiled up at him sadly; he obviously didn't fall for the charms. The other boys gasped at either me or how much better Remus look suddenly. James was the one who quickly recovered and asked the obvious question, "Remus looks so much better than he did earlier, how did you do that?"

"My necklace has a glamour charm that conceals dark circles and paleness from lack of sleep. I also put a protection charm on it that blocks counter curses for the glamour charms." I tried to sound as casual as possible as I continued to start walking again we were almost at the Great Hall now and I was hoping they wouldn't bring up anything else about the necklace. However Sirius obviously didn't get the memo that I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"So why do you look so ill and tired then?" I sighed and turned to look at them. They all looked worried especially Remus. What could I possibly say to make this right? That I hadn't had a peaceful night's sleep in probably years? That they have been getting worse for a few months? That I'm scared of full moons because well... it reminds me of everything I have done to hurt people? I just shook my head and continued walking anyway not letting myself get upset.

"Why didn't you tell me how bad they were getting? Or at least go see Madame Promfrey for a sleeping draught?" I stopped in my tracks at the hurt in his voice. My selfishness of being strong hurt the one person I was trying to protect. Remus. I took a deep breath before answering, frozen in place.

"Potions don't work anymore, I've tried. Besides how was I supposed to tell you that I haven't slept properly in months that they've been worse since I came back from France." Tears were forming in my eyes unwillingly as I talked everything I could say without thinking. And yet even trying my hardest, I said it, the things I could never say to anyone, "How could I possibly sleep when it's getting closer to the full moon? Getting closer to hearing you suffer and being able to do nothing? Seeing her every full moon and then listening to the screaming inside my head until morning every night in between, how am I supposed to cope? Tell me Remus, how can I cope knowing I'm to blame for your misery and her death? Every time I close my eyes to sleep I watch over and over again." And with that being said I ran. I ran until they couldn't see me, until I couldn't cry anymore. Until I ended up outside of potions, I walked in, putting my stuff at my seat I got out my copper cauldron ready for any practical work, I refused to use the schools rusted cauldrons. They took longer to brew potions, than was necessary plus the rust decreased the quality of the potion. While I was waiting for everyone else I took the time to let the remaining tears trickle down my cheeks, after I used the glamour charm that I put on my necklace as well as another to get rid of my puffy red eyes from crying. Just as I had finished I felt Remus take his place beside me. I didn't look up at him, he pushed something in front of me. I couldn't help but give a small laugh when I saw it, a Honeydukes finest chocolate bar. Looking up at Remus, I gave him an apologetic smile for my outburst. That was the needed on a full moon.

"Don't worry about it, just take the chocolate. It's the least I could do after you gave me the necklace to hide how ill I looked this morning, plus you skipped breakfast." He whispered to me, I smiled again. There was one thing that I was still worried about.

"Do they know? Did you tell them? Have they asked? Are they mad at me? Will they hate me for what I've done?" Remus chuckled quietly. I could feel the other boys looking at us. I decided to start the potion we were making, which ironically was a sleeping draught, which was the one potion I struggled to make. I always over heated it.

"No but they did ask, I told them I would talk to you about it. However I'm guessing they'll find out tonight anyway" I shrugged I wasn't sure what would happen tonight, although I did know one thing.

"I'll tell them, it's best they're warned before I end up hurting them too. I don't want them to hate me though. It's bad enough bad enough that they all seemed suspicious of me after I told them I was to blame for your condition." Remus smiled at me as I talked. I knew he wouldn't let them be mad at me but that won't make their reactions any worse.

"They won't hate you for it; if they accepted my condition they can accept you and yours. As for the suspicion that was my fault, I kept you secret from them even after we agreed to tell each other everything." I sighed, wishing what he said to be true. There was only one way to find out...


	8. Confessions

I had gathered all the boys together after lessons before Remus had to leave. We were in the Room of Requirements. We were sitting on bean bag type chairs with a table in the middle of us. I didn't know where to start; they all kept staring at me expectantly.

Remus squeezed my hand. I looked at him and he nodded, and then turned to each of them individually seeing curiosity in all of their eyes. "Um... I don't know where to start with this..." I laughed nervously.

"The beginning may help, I don't think starting from the middle or end will work." I stared at Peter, that's the most he has said to me and he says that. I smiled a genuine smile. Sirius and James told him that was obvious and to stop being stupid.

"Is this about the 'Her' you mentioned this morning and what you didn't tell us on the train?" I nodded to Sirius's question. I needed to start from that night.

"Ok, so I told you about Remus's side of the curse, but... not mine. You see I had a twin sister, Summer, well that night she died. Because I froze after Remus collapsed, she ran in front of me to save me from being killed or bitten. I just stood and watched as she tried to fight the werewolf off with what magic she could control. It wasn't enough and... Well you get the picture. I thought they were both dead and panicked. My two best friends, my only friends, dead and I couldn't save them." Tears came to my eyes as I recalled my feelings, I could feel myself shaking. "I cast the shower in one last memory of them, to try getting as much fire into it as they did during the fights. The werewolf ran, but the next night he returned casting a curse or something on me so now on a full moon, I wake to find Summer at the end of my bed. She leads me to the nearest forest and that's where I transform."

"Transform?" It was James that asked although cautiously, "You don't have to tell us. I was curious that's all"

Shaking my head at his cautiousness, I continued. "Yes, I transform. I don't know what I look like, in fact the most I can ever remember of the nights are being out of breath while seeing a knife sticking out of the ground, then this sudden urge to grab it happens. I black out after that."

"She must not grab the knife though. I've seen her with more cuts over her when she grabs it compared to when she hasn't." Remus chimed in. He had seen me during full moons and I had fought him, apparently he was getting me away from the knife. I looked at the ground. The potions I made for the scars worked well for mine however for Remus they hardly worked, especially on the scars I caused. Suddenly I was being pushed to the ground in two massive bear hugs.

"Thank you for telling us." Sirius whispered in my ear. I nodded. They finally got off of me, when Remus decided to pulling me into a hug telling me he was pleased I told someone other than him. "So that happens every full moon?"

I shook my head sadly. "No it's completely random. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't and I just get worse nightmares that night. It hasn't happened for a while now."

"One of us will be with you on full moons then. You know, to protect you." I stared at James as if he was crazy. I looked at Remus, my expression obviously panicked.

"No! Absolutely not! You are not under any circumstances allowed to be around me the night of a full moon. I could kill you when I'm transformed. I've ruined enough lives; I'm not adding yours to the list." I practically screamed at them. They still looked so persistent at the idea. I shook my head at them.

"I could be a messenger on full moons, tell Sirius and James if you head out to the forest. After helping them get to the shrieking shack, I could see if you're still in bed." Peter tried to reason. My answer is still no; I shook my head to tell them.

"At least sleep in our dorm, just so that we can try to help you too. Please, April, at least let us try to help you like we have Moony."

"Sirius, if it were as simple as you make it sound, I would have tried it. I need to be asleep for it to happen, which is why I asked if I could join you on full moons because I won't be tempted to fall asleep."

"It will still happen though April. You always collapsed when you used to come out with me, just for the transformation to happen. Please, let them try. If they can't do anything then they'll leave you alone, but at least stay in our room on the night of the full moon." I thought about what Remus had said. It was understandable that he was telling me; almost word for word what I had told him when I talked him into letting them go with him. He was worried about me, I could see it but it was too dangerous. I sighed and agreed, _what's the worst that could happen? Actually I shouldn't say that_.


End file.
